作為一個出生在台灣的中國人
從小接受的是傳統的以對岸文學、歷史與地理為主流的國民教育
長大後面對統獨問題的政治爭議
還有台灣人和中國人的族群認同議題
Being as a Chinese born in Taiwan
Who accepts traditional education based on China's literature, history and geography
But facing the ideology of independence or unification while growing up
Cannot help but to question myself if I am a Taiwanese or a Chinese
Does it make differences?
在中國 在泰國 在其他國家
當表明自己來自台灣的身分後
最常被問的問題
即使提出問題的對象也是華人
不外乎是
台灣人和中國人有什麼不一樣嗎？
台灣人不就是中國人嗎？
為什麼臺灣人不願意變成中國的一部份？
While being overseas in China, Thailand or some other countries
After declaring my Taiwanese identity
People often ask me some few questions
Even those who offer these questions are Chinese as well
Does it make any differences between a Taiwanese and a Chinese?
Isn't a Taiwanese a Chinese too
Why Taiwan refuse to become part of China
對於這一類的問題
常常一時之間
很難用簡單的言語去表明立場
然後我又自問自己同樣的問題
Whenever facing these questions
Most of the time it's not easy to give them good answers
Hard to identify myself
Then again I cannot help but to ask myself these same questions
我或許可以說台灣與中國歷經太多年的分治
在日本長達五十年的統治過程下
台灣歷經初步的現代化進程
不僅受到日本文化的影響
更已經接受日本文化中一些根本的價值
而不自覺地和傳統中國文化下成長的對岸中國人或是海外華人有所差異
I may tell them its all becoz after so many years' partition
Under Japanese rule over 50 years
Taiwan has begun the modernization process much earlier than the Mainland China
And gradually get changed and influenced unobtrusively and imperceptibly by Japanese culture and ideology
Which causes some differences from the Chinese in Mainland China or the Chinese overseas
我或許更可以回到在日本統治以前談起
談台灣人如何靠自己力量對抗日本人
藉由一種族群想像的族群過去如何光榮與敵人作戰的奮鬥史
來為臺灣人民說話
而這樣一種慷慨激昂的憤慨情緒
最容易變成是一種高度為自己辯護的自傲聲音
I may also tell them Taiwan's history before Japanese domination over this island
Tell them how Taiwanese fight against Japanese invasion bravely by themselves
How Hakka people and aborigines sacrifice their lives heroically
Seeing that politicians or racists always can control people easily by this kind of strong emotion to achieve their aim
And it is also easy to defend ourselves based on this exaggeratively glorious fighting story
不然 1947年的二二八事件及三月鎮壓
來自中國的政府官員企圖透過強力文化政策
企圖以中國文化取代台灣的日本文化及本土文化
以及1949年國民政府在國共內戰失利後
陸續帶了近百萬的軍隊撤退台灣
理所當然將台灣納入反攻大陸的復興基地
台灣在動員戡亂的體制下
進行一場所謂社會和政治秩序的重整
中國民族主義的意識形態
以及對於中國的認同
透過國家控制的大眾傳播媒體 文化出版事業
以及學校教育系統的強力宣揚
逐漸成為台灣戰後成員的主流觀點
When we talk about the famous February 28 Incident and the March Army Suppression
Those rulers who come from China try to use their strong and powerful Chinese culture
To replace completely the Japanese and local culture which have already existed in Taiwan for many years
In 1949 after Chiang Kai-shek failed in a long standing civil war with the Chinese Communist Party
He and the Nationalist government are forced to retreat to Taiwan
Imposing the one-party-state martial law on this island for a long time
He and the government declare their great intention to take back the Mainland China
The first decades after the Nationalists gain power of Taiwan are known as "the "White Terror"
During that period, around 140,000 Taiwanese were imprisoned or executed for their real or perceived opposition to the government.
Most of those prosecuted are even labeled as "bandit spies" , which means the spies for Chinese Communists
The new government control the publishing enterprise, mass media and national education as powerful propaganda
Trying to rebuild the new social and political order in this island
Therefore the Chinese nationalism then become the mainstream viewpoints among those Taiwanese born after the civil war
台灣從鄭氏王國的治台時期
清領時代
日治時代
以及二次大戰後的政治變遷
時至今日因而發展出一種以漢文化為主體
融合了原住民文化
美式西方文化
以及日本文化成分的獨特文化的多元發展情形
Taiwan has been through the domination of Zheng dynasty, Quin dynasty
Japan till Chiang Kai-Shek till now
It has already developed a culture complex which has Han culture as the principle part, also merged with aboriginal, western American and Japanese culture
我常常喜歡把所謂中國人或是華人區分為以下幾種類別
居住在中國大陸本土的中國人
居住在台灣的中國人
移民到不同國家並已經落地生根好幾代的海外華人
而海外華人
有像馬來西亞或印尼等對中國傳統文化及語言仍堅持不懈的
卻也因此成為至今都仍無法解決的華人與當地人的族群糾紛及衝突
也像在泰國因為Pibul大泰族主義下的華人同化政策的華人
多數華人 尤其是年輕一代已經完全喪失使用中文的能力
在Pibul將軍的軍人專制統治下
華人也被迫更改姓名
但是卻也造成在東南亞地區
泰國人與華人之間的同化
變成是最成功的案例
泰國在過去三十到四十年間
幾乎沒有發生華人與泰人的族群衝突問題
華人參政在泰國亦是相當普便的現象
例如獨領政治風騷的總理Thaksin 甚至是泰國現任總理Abhisit
都具有華人血統
I ofetn like to group the so-called Chinese into several types:
Chinese in Mainland China, People's Republic of China
Chinese in Taiwan, Taiwanese, Republic of China
Overseas Chinese
But for overseas Chinese
Some are like Malaysian or Indonesian Chinese who still stick to Chinese culture and language firmly
Which also causes the racial conflict between Chinese and local people since these two countries were built
Some are like Thai Chinese
Especially for young generation
They have already lost the ability to speak or read, not mention to write in Chinese
When General Luang Pibul Songgram rules this country,
He emphasizes One Big Thai nationalism
He prohibited Chinese people from speaking Chinese, even forcing them abandon their Chinese family names
However, this policy also makes the most successful Chinese national assimilation among all southeast Asian countries
Over the past thirty to forty years
Seldom ethnic conflicts between Chinese and Thai people are reported in media
In Thailand
It is also very common to see Chinese participate in politics
Such as Thaksin Shinawatra or the present prime minister, Abhisit Vejjajiva
曾經問一位泰國華人
"為什麼大多數泰國華人都不會說中文呢"
他思索半晌
說了一句
"這是個好問題"
卻無法回答
但是他也反問我
為什麼臺灣人不願意成為中國大陸的一部分呢
我望著他
一時之間也答不出來
One time when visiting some place
I asked a Thai Chinese one question
"Why most Thai Chinese cannot speak Chinese?"
At that time
He said its a good question
But he did not know the answer
He also asked me one question
"Why you Taiwanese refuse to become part of China?"
At that time I stared at him
And thinking how I should reply
另一群海外華人
還有像異域為家的雲南人
他們在二次大戰後 參與國共內戰
最後淪落到緬甸及泰國北部
在1953到1954年間
這群雲南人大多數陸陸續續撤退到台灣 連同眷屬約有7000多人
卻還有一部分仍滯留在當地
從沒有身分到終於可以安全定居
There are also some other overseas Chinese
Such as wandering Yunnan people
Their men join the civil war between Nationalist Government and the Communist Party after World War Second
And finally tramp up to the land of Myanmar and north Thailand
From 1953 to 1954
Most of them came to Taiwan with their family, almost more than 7000 people
But still many are left in north Thailand
They are the orphans of no identity. facing long term struggle in life
Finally they are accepted by Thailand government, becoming part of Thai
也有像在近代因為經濟因素移居到柬埔寨 東帝汶 或是古巴等國家的華人
祖國中國對他們而言已經變成是太遙遠的記憶
祖國對他們的漠然
一位在赤柬波布統治下的華人就失望地說
"不要再跟我提到中國 我已經不認識這個國家"
在古巴 就像大多數來自非洲的移民一樣
那些從中國移民到當地的
對他們來說
祖國已不再重要
古巴才是他們唯一的真實
While mentioning the Chinese in Cambodia, East Timor or Cuba
For most of them China has already become a remote and unimportant term
China government's indifferent attitude towards these people
Which also makes them feel disappointed
One woman who leads her life under the regime of Pol Pot's Khmer Rouge said to a journalist
"Don't mention China to me again, I don't know this country any more"
In Cuba
Just like many Africans
For those who immigrates from China for generations
The mother country is not important at all
For them
Cuba is the only truth
誰是中國人
什麼是中國人
什麼是華人
Who is Chinese
What is Chinese
What makes Chinese
這樣一種對於族群的相對分類觀念
對於自我來源的追尋及探求
事實上其實是一種近代才逐漸產生所謂的族群分類想像
而可悲的是
這樣一種族群想像
對於多數政治 宗教 或是民族運動操作者而言
卻是一種容易凝聚民眾力量的最好工具
All these questions actually stem from national identity classification, which relatively occurred in one side ethnic group
Many scholars all claim this is the ethnic imagination in contemporary world
But sadly many politicians, extremists, or racists make very good use of this kind of imagination to agitate the blind crowds
我還是一直在思考
如果我又再度被問到我是台灣人還是中國人這一類的問題
為什麼台灣不願意變成中國的一部份
或是被問到台灣是一個怎麼樣的國家時
我能不能 會不會
有一個更好的答案
I am still asking myself
If one day once again i was asked if I am a Taiwanese or a Chinese
Or why Taiwan refuses to join China
Or what kind of country Taiwan is
Will I be able to give them a better answer
一直不斷沉迷於對於過去歷史的不斷追尋
想要不斷去找出現今世界上一切政治經濟宗教文化多種現象背後的原因
追尋的過程中
卻發現更多的迷惘和徘徊
對於學問和知識的不斷追尋
讓我更加自覺自我知識的疲乏和不足
繼而更加馬不停蹄地追尋下去
但是歷史學 社會學 人類學又豈止是像書本上所說的那樣絕對和真實
每一位學者
每一位記者
每一位作家
在描述事情都有其立場
而閱讀者本身 於我而言
又豈可否認我也有我本身傾向的觀念 還有立場
I always feel so much intrigued to look for the truth hidden in history
Always want to find out what makes this world so much complicated
Why so many wars still occur in this world
What makes everything worse
In the quest of knowledge and truth
I only discover my ignorance through learning
There is no limit to knowledge at all
Many times I seems to get lost more than ever
I feel so tired why history always repeats itself in different times, different countries
How come even for such a small country, it has to get through so many difficulties since it was built
It is always the human beings who makes everything complicated and worse
There is no absolute objectivity in history, sociology and anthropology
Every scholar, every journalist and every book writer has his own inherent and inevitable standpoint
And being as a reader
Can I deny I don't have any preference while choosing books, writers, scholars or media materials
我著迷於這樣一種知識的追尋過程
對照親身踏上一塊土地對於一個地方的自我經驗
我相信Allah會一直引導我走下去
每一個踏出的步伐
都是祂引領我去了解的一個未知世界
還有未知的自己
There is always a voice to push me to go much further
Increase myself in knowledge and wisdom
In the quest of knowledge
I cannot ever stop
I try to apply the knowledge acquisition to personal experiences at a land
I believe Allah will guide me all the way
There is no accident in every single step
He guide me to see an unknown world
And an unknown part within myself
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